Well, the musical's about to start, nervous about it....
I've been doing squats, chin ups, push ups and jumping on the spot while waiting. (well, alot of people were bugged at 1st but they don't mind now)
I really want to pass napfa, but my bro and now my dad thinks I'm not determined enough. I guess I can't blame them since it is my 3rd time failing Napfa in a row each week.But I can't help but have this feeling of I'm useless, maybe I should stop. I can take comfort in the fact that many people think I can make it, at church, at the musical crew and cast, my schoolmates (both old and new). But I still feel terrible when both of them said I still don't have enough determination.
This kinds of realise I'm the type of guy who loses hope easily. I can use logical arguements and stuff but find it difficult to brave against physical and mental problems. I find I lack alot of courage dispite being Charles meaning "the brave man". I wish I had alot of traits heros have, but I don't.
(maybe thats why I like to watch shows where the hero saves the day?)
With only slightly above average intelligence, no street smarts, poor ability to remember names of people or places, physically unfit, poor confidence and poor general knowledge, maybe thats why I'll never be a good leader and may never find or get a life partner.
sigh....
Overpessimistic perphaps? maybe not....
Chuckie
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